Unpredictability
by PrincessLiv31702
Summary: Someone with a need for revenge against Elliot and Olivia, attacks, but in a way no one expected. How will they both react to seeing each other years after Elliot's sudden departure from the unit and under what circumstances do they meet. First fanfiction so please don't be harsh and give it a try. Please review so I know what you think about it. Contains EO
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Hello, well sadly I do not own any of these characters even though if I did I would be by far the happiest person ever. Obviously that will never happen and I did not get them for Christmas.):

A\N-Well even though this is my first fanfiction, I have been reading a lot of SVU fanfics and have been so inspired from them.

Summary- So I understand that there are so many Elliot coming back for Olivia stories but I still wanted to give it a shot so here we go. Oh, and this will definitely be EO because I completely adore them and how could you not.

"Thanks so much Lucy," Olivia greeted her babysitter as she walked into her apartment after a long day at work. She had spent the previous night at the precinct since the squad had to track down a serial rapist who preyed on little girls who were only nine years old. Every two hours they had a new victim until they had finally found the rapist only four victims later. Peter Arold. Even saying the name made her want to puke. At least they had adequate evidence to get him the maximum life sentence.

"No really, it's fine. I completely understand," Lucy replied despite her exhausted looking figure. Lucy gathered her purse and threw on her jacket while Liv took off her jacket and put down the files that were in her hands.

"Noah is fed, changed, and I was about to put him to sleep so he should be falling asleep soon," Lucy said, exhaustion overcoming her as she scarcely stifled a yawn. She began to open the door to exit when Olivia stopped her. "Thanks again Lucy, I really don't know what I would've done without you."

"You're welcome Liv,"Lucy said beginning to walk down the hallway, "I'll see you tomorrow." Olivia shut the door to her apartment and spotted Noah on his walker already dosing off. Glancing at the clock Olivia realized how truly late it was. It was 11:43pm. She bent down and lifted little baby Noah into her protective open arms and started swiftly pacing to Noah's room. Cautiously placing the sleeping child into the crib, Olivia quietly made her way out of the baby's room. Taking one last glance, her eyes darted from Noah's sleeping form to a picture frame on the nearby vanity set.

That picture, the picture she had kept for three years now, was of Elliot and the almost newborn Ellie Stabler. Elliot, looking as proud as a father could be, was holding the small little Stabler in his strong, caring, protective arms. She remembered the day she had been packing that box up with all of her ex-partner's items. A week later no one had come to claim it so she took it upon herself to take it home as a memory of him, his children, and their partnership. Thinking about their twelve-year long partnership and how it had ended, a single tear slid down her cheek and she turned off the light to the room, hoping to forget that last memory of his departure.

Olivia slowly made her way to her room and removing her clothes, she went to get her pajamas. As she opened her top drawer, she wasn't at all surprised when yet another reminder of Elliot's disappearance caught her gaze. It was the semper fidelis necklace that had been given to her as what she thought of as a goodbye gift since she would never see him again. For the first days after she received the necklace, Olivia had embraced the feel of his medallion around her neck, but then decided that it was too precious to her to ever lose so she put it somewhere safe to be treasured for long. She then put it on the left side of her top drawer underneath her clothes and along with the note.

After taking out the pair of pajamas, Olivia shut the drawer and changed into her pajamas. She then went back to her living room area where she had left her bag and dug out her badge and gun. Disposing them both into her bedroom bedside table drawer, where she always put them, she finally eased herself into her bed. The last thought she had before drifting off to sleep was of Elliot.

"_Drop it! Drop your weapon now! Drop it! Drop it!" screamed Olivia in pure fear for her partner of seven years._

"_I'm gonna shoot him!" Gitano shouted even louder. _

"_Shoot him!" Elliot commanded._

"_Don't be an idiot Gitano, put the gun down or you're dead," Olivia shouted once again not knowing what to do._

"_Pull the trigger! Don't even think about it!" Elliot ordered despite being in complete fear himself._

"_You hear me he's gonna die!" Gitano yelled through the partners' conversation._

"_Shoot him!" Elliot demanded yet once again._

"_Shut up! Everybody shut up!" Gitano shouted once again interrupting Olivia from her thoughts longing to form a plan._

"_Victor, there's no way out of this," Olivia said still not having an idea._

"_Stop talking," Gitano ordered panicking from the situation. _

"_You know what's gonna happen if you don't put that gun down. Now enough people have died," Olivia stated, wanting just to calm Gitano and her partner down._

"_Olivia," Elliot said in a voice just above a whisper that even Olivia could not recognize. _

"_And I know that you don't wanna die. You could have pulled the trigger on Detective Stabler and then I would have had to kill you. But you didn't do that, you didn't do that because you were being smart," Olivia continued, ignoring him._

"_You've only got one chance. You gotta take it," Elliot pleaded with Olivia to take the shot._

"_Where's Rebecca Victor? Is she alive?" Olivia asked, hopefully._

"_I'm not gonna tell you dick until you drop the gun, bitch!"_

"_Shoot him!" Elliot yelled._

"_Shut up Elliot!" Olivia shouted back._

"_Stop moving or he's dead!"_

"_And then what? Do you really think that you're gonna walk out of here? Because that's not gonna happen. Now this is your choice. Dead or alive?" Olivia asked with her voice slightly wavering, allowing only Elliot to realize. _

"_I go, he goes," Gitano stated with conviction._

"_Victor, tell us where Rebecca is and we can end this right now," Olivia offered trying to distract him as she moved closer._

"_Dead. I used her up and I bled her dry. You wanna hear how she screamed? How she begged for her mommy?"_

"_Stop it," Olivia said as she resisted the urge to just kill the man._

"_She was a slut down, and a real little whore," Gitano added._

"_And I'm looking at a dead man," Elliot roared._

"_Any closer, and you're gonna be wearing his brains on your coat!"_

"_Olivia, there is no reason to keep this piece of crap alive. Pull the trigger right now! Olivia, pull it! Shoot him!" Elliot reasoned for the third time._

"_You know…you know that little girl? It's possible that she isn't dead. She could be locked up in this building somewhere, huh? Or someplace else 15 miles away. You really don't know do you?" Gitano said desperately. _

"_You're a liar!" Olivia spat at him._

"_Yeah, well, that's the point," Gitano admitted._

"_Tell us where she is, Victor," Olivia pleaded, hoping she did not sound as desperate as she really was._

"_She's here! She's not dead, otherwise he would've been long gone! Unless you like them dead. You sick like that too Gitano? You like to play with corpses?"_

"_Yea, I like that. The deader the better. They don't fight as much," Gitano stated, earning a look of pure disgust from Olivia._

"_You could kill us both, Victor, you'll still never walk out of here," Olivia growled back in disgust._

"_Drop it, Drop the gun. Drop it now! Put the gun down now! Now! You cops don't come in here, or everybody dies!" Gitano shouted at the top of his lungs as there was sudden noise coming from behind them. In complete fear and panic he pulled the trigger and just as Elliot fell to the floor the sound traveled through the air._

"_BANG!"_

"Elliot!" Olivia shouted sitting up and waking up in a hot sweat. It Olivia a couple of seconds until she recollect her mind and herself. 'Great another Gitano nightmare. Fantastic. Nine years later and I still can't stop thinking of it. Hey, new record though the first nightmare not having to do with William Lewis in a while though,' she thought after calming down and not being at all surprised.

Olivia let out a long awaited sigh and was relieved at the fact that Noah had not awaken from her shrieks of terror. Before laying back down Olivia caught a glimpse of her alarm clock. It read 1:03am. Without wasting another second she quickly slipped back to sleep. The second time around Olivia found herself dreaming of nothing after being pushed past the limit of exhaustion.

Around an hour and a half later, Olivia awoke once again but this time was different and left her completely baffled. There was no crying from Noah, there was no message at her phone waiting to be answered, and it wasn't another nightmare. Olivia had just randomly woken up and could not go back to sleep. Even though Olivia couldn't explain it, she just didn't feel right. She felt as if something were wrong and that something was going to happen. Not ignoring the premonition as a mother she went to Noah's room, not losing a second.

When Olivia got to Noah's room, everything was calm and peaceful. Olivia made her way over to the crib, but found Noah sleeping as he was when she left him. Olivia looked around his room and made sure that his window was shut. Finally approving that everything in his room was okay, she moved on to the living room. Olivia then double checked that she had locked her doors before taking a seat on the sofa and just staring at the clock.

'Something doesn't seem right,' she thought to herself. She then closed her eyes and listened to her surroundings. The night was completely silent except for the regular sound of her refrigerator and the frequent car engines driving down her avenue. Suddenly, she heard a distant car door slam shut.

BANG!

A gunshot was heard by the neighborhood through the clear crisp silence. The next thing Olivia knew she was sprinting to her room and opening her top drawer desperately to get to her gun. Just as her fingers grazed upon the butt of her gun, she heard a second gunshot followed by a very faint and muffled cry. She clutched the gun, ran to check on Noah and in seeing that he was sound asleep, her cop instincts took over. She locked the door to his room, ran to grab her police radio from her room, and ran out of her apartment, locking the door behind her. On her way down the stairs she radioed for back up to meet her outside her house and called for a bus. When she got to the entrance, Olivia opened the door and burst through it.

As she approached the street, Olivia saw the injured person and ran closer to the slope of the street to help in any way she could since she was a person in authority with experience. She then bent down and realized something that shocked her to oblivion. She couldn't have been more shocked if her deceased mother were the person on the floor. Her heart rose up to her throat and she felt as if she couldn't breathe. Tears blurred her vision with all her mixed emotions contradicting her. 'No,' she thought as she pushed all the anger she felt toward this man away so all she felt was worry. On the verge of having a panic attack and a breakdown, Olivia began to apply pressure to the gunshot wound on his stomach and took off her sweater to stop the blood on the second gunshot wound to his the left side of his chest.

"Elliot, no, God no," She said as she kept applying pressure. By now people were peering out of their windows to see what had happened, but were too scared to come to help. Staring down at her former partner's slumped body Olivia made her want to be sick. He had duct tape covering his mouth, a bruise covering his right eye, and little cuts everywhere. He was wearing sweats that were now soaked in blood and he was unconscious. He was losing blood quickly, but Olivia did not want to leave Noah alone for a long time.

Pulling out her phone from her pocket, Olivia dialed Fin's number as fast as possible. "Fin," she started as Fin answered," There were shots fired on my street, and please don't ask any questions now, just meet me here and bring the team cause I need someone to watch Noah. You need to come quick, I have to go, please hurry." She didn't wait for a response as she threw her phone off her shoulder and focused on the task at hand. She needed to wake him up somehow because she knew he was losing too much blood.

"Elliot, El, I need you to wake up," She said caressing his forehead with her thumb. The blood seeping through the material on her sweater scared her enough to make her turn pale. As gently as she possibly could, Olivia moved him carefully onto her lap.

"Come on, El wake up," Olivia pleaded. She took his hand and held it with her left hand as she continued to apply pressure. Around two minutes later Elliot began to stir awake and Olivia watched him as he began to open his eyes. When Elliot's eyes opened fully Olivia saw truly how scared he was. She had never seen him so scared before. As Elliot realized he had tape on his mouth he began to panic and squirm.

"El, it's okay, you're going to be okay," Olivia said as she squeezed Elliot's hand in her own. As soon as his eyes met hers he began to calm down. Seeing the pain in his eyes proved to be too much for her when she took him into her grasp and sat down fully on the floor. When Olivia saw Elliot struggling to speak, she as tenderly as possible, began to peel it off of his mouth.

"Try not to speak, Elliot," Olivia said after she finished peeling the tape off of him. Just then Olivia heard the bus coming and sure enough it was turning at the corner of the street. Right behind the bus were two squad cars who belonged to Fin and Nick. As the paramedics came over and began to lift Elliot onto the stretcher, she felt Elliot's grip on her hand tighten. She turned to face him. When she looked into his eyes she saw great fear and panic.

"Liv?" he said just above a whisper. "Yes, it's me and I'm coming with you," Olivia stated with only tenderness in her voice just as they went into the ambulance. Fin came up behind one of the paramedics and asked," You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just meet me at the hospital and I'll explain everything there, but for now have someone go into my apartment and stay with Noah until Lucy get there," Olivia stated. When Fin didn't reply, she realized he had seen Elliot. "I'll explain later," she repeated, earning a nod from Fin. After he left the paramedics told her that if she wasn't family she couldn't ride.

"Either you let me ride with him or I'll take him to the hospital in my car," Olivia threatened, her grip on Elliot's hand increasing in strength. The lead paramedic rolled his eyes, but complied with her demand. Olivia then took a seat near Elliot's head and watched over him just as a partner should always do.


	2. Chapter 2:Chaos and Confusion

**Disclaimer: I still do not own them, nothing's changed.**

**A\N- Thank you guys so much for enjoying and reviewing my first story, I could not have asked for a better response. All of you guys made my day. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

Chaos and confusion. Those two words described everything once they had arrive at the hospital. The entire ride to the hospital Olivia kept Elliot's hand in her own so when the ambulance reached the hospital, Olivia tried to keep that connection just as she had in the ambulance when Elliot slipped into unconsciousness. Olivia was able to make that happen as the paramedics unloaded the stretcher onto the sidewalk of the hospital. She had managed to keep their hands interlocked until the moment he was taken away from her thankfully still protective gaze and rolled into surgery.

Olivia's mind raced and varied in thoughts as she slid herself down the hallway wall. She found herself all alone with only her thoughts to listen to. Tears of confusion and overwhelming emotions were released down her cheeks. Olivia wanted to completely despise Elliot from the anger that had collected after he left her without a word. She had fought for him and he just gave up on her. He had so easily given up on their partnership of so long. Elliot had so deeply disappointed her and even managed to break her heart. After a couple of weeks she had eventually accepted he was not coming back to the unit for the sake of her job, but she had never fully accepted how he left their partnership… their friendship in shambles.

Restless nights for the first few months she had spent sobbing at night, her heart drenching at the fact that she might never even see him again. At least when he had worked with her she knew she had someone to talk to about a case even though she rarely did, but now she had completely no one. Her life had felt solely empty without his presence. He had helped her feel like someone actually cared about her… loved her even, but when he left her she was sure she had imagined all those times when she thought he cared about her.

She went from seeing Elliot every day of the week, almost every hour of the day, to not seeing him at all for three whole years. In order to keep her composure Olivia had always tried not to mention her former partner to her new co-workers even though for the most part of her day he was all she could think of. Then the whole William Lewis ordeal happened. Now deep in thought, Olivia had stopped crying and nearly laughed sadly when she thought about how William Lewis had guessed correctly. She was thinking about her former partner every second she spent with William Lewis. From wondering if she would live to ever see his beautiful icy eyes again silently hoping he would rescue her from the criminal scarring her physically and emotionally.

She hadn't allowed Lewis to talk about Elliot in the slightest because she could never stand anyone ever talking disrespectfully of him even if Elliot had hurt her. When she had been rescued all she wanted was to be with him, to see if it really truly had ended. Olivia had wanted to feel safe with his arms around her assuring her that it would be okay. But he didn't come at all not even to see her at the hospital. And now here she was acting like nothing ever happened, like he didn't leave her, like he didn't abandon her when she needed him the most, and like her heart wasn't still trying to piece itself together from his last attack on her soul.

But she knew she needed to be here for Elliot whether or not he was the cause of her still lingering sense of devastation. Olivia wasn't sure she could handle a conversation yet about this with Elliot, but eventually it would come. She wasn't sure about a lot of things. Olivia wasn't sure if she was happy to see Elliot again, especially under the circumstances, she wasn't sure what to say to him, she wasn't sure what had happened to Elliot, and she definitely wasn't sure what was to be expected of their friendship. All she was certain of was that she would try her best to rekindle her relationship to Elliot given his effort.

As hard as Olivia thought about who and why anyone would do this, she couldn't think of anyone in particular. I mean sure they had angered many people in their days as partners, but most of them were serving life sentences either in Attica or in hell like Gitano.

For the time being she just hoped to God Elliot would be okay. She looked to the clock. It read 4:56am. On the ride in the ambulance to the hospital Eliot had begun to worry Olivia when he appeared to be having a little trouble breathing and began to cough. Out of worry Olivia just grabbed his hand tighter and massaged her free hand on his forehead. Olivia was graciously interrupted from her thoughts as she saw Fin approach her. As soon as he spotted her sitting against the wall he ran to her and Olivia stood up.

"You sure you're okay, Liv?" Fin asked seeing that she appeared to be a little off.

"Honestly Fin, I don't even know the answer to that question myself right now," Olivia stated still confused.

"So fill me in, what the hell happened and how did Elliot end up battered on your block after…?" Fin stopped and looked to the floor not wanting to touch the subject on Stabler's departure further.

"I am as confused as you are right now. All I know is that I ... who stayed with Noah?" Olivia asked, her motherly half taking over.

"Nick stayed with him, said he'll come as soon as Lucy gets to your place." Fin replied, assuring Olivia and earning a nod in return.

"So like I was saying I heard a gunshot, and reached for my gun and I heard another gunshot, so I made sure Noah was okay and I ran as quick as I could to the street. Then I saw that it was him and I called for a bus and you and now I don't even know what's happening in there- , "Olivia said stopping as she began to shake and cry hysterically.

"Liv it's okay, he'll be okay," Fin said as he pulled Olivia into his arms. He knew how much she still cared for Elliot.

"There was just so much blood and and then hhe started to have trouble breathing," Olivia said with her voice wavering. Somehow she had managed to keep herself together while in the ambulance but she found that she still deeply cared for him and it scared her how scared she was for him.

Suddenly, Olivia pulled out of Fin's embrace. "Someone should probably call Kathy and the kids," Olivia said. She dialed the number that she hadn't called in years and hit "call". Within a matter of seconds the operating system came up on her phone and announced that number was disconnected. 'What the hell,' she thought to herself, 'Why would Elliot's home phone be disconnected.

"What happened?" asked Fin.

"Elliot's home phone is disconnected," Olivia stated, looking through her phone. She was sure she had it. Scrolling down he contacts Olivia found Kathleen's phone number and clicked on it, hoping to have some luck locating the Stablers.

"Hello," a female voice said sleepily from the other line.

"Kathleen," Olivia sighed of relief.

"Liv? What happened-," Kathleen began, but Olivia interrupted her.

"I tried your home number, but it was disconnected, and I was calling to tell you guys that your father's been in an accident, and he's at Mercy Hospital."

"My dad's in the hospital, what happened?" Kathleen asked sincerely worried.

"Well, we don't know how but you father ended up shot twice," Olivia answered, not wanting to bring up that he had been found outside her apartment. "I think he'd really like to see you guys when he wakes up."

"Oh, you don't know," Kathleen began.

"I don't know what?" Olivia inquired.

"My parents split up for good three years ago, and my mom took us to live in Florida. Maureen and I moved out as soon as we could because we were tired of hearing Kathy talk on and on about how terrible my father is. Now Lizzie, Richard, and Ellie all live with Kathy and her new husband Andrew."

"Wait, so you're in Florida now?" Olivia asked, enormously confused.

"Yea, but I'm gonna fly over there with Maureen as soon as we can fly out." Kathleen said. "I gotta go call Maureen. I'll see you in a couple of hours, bye Liv." Kathleen said and hung up leaving Liv with many, many unanswered questions.

"What is Kathleen doing in Florida?" asked Fin puzzled.

"Apparently Elliot's divorced, Kathy moved the kids to Florida, and recently re-married," Olivia clarified to both Fin and herself.

"Stabler's got a lot of questions to answer," Fin said "Just promise me, Liv, that you won't let him hurt you like he did before."

Before anyone could say anything else, a doctor emerged from the emergency surgery room and Olivia realized she was still about five feet away from the door. The doctor approached Olivia and held a form and a pen in his hand.

"Are both of you here for Mr. Stabler?" The doctor asked and both Olivia and Fin nodded. "Well first off my name is Doctor Charles McSpringer. One of you should fill these form out for Mr. Stabler as we may need to further medicate him." He turned to look at Olivia. "Would you happen to be Ms. Benson?"

"Actually yes, how did you know that?" Olivia asked, a little freaked out.

"Oh, you're listed as Mr. Stabler's Next of Kin and emergency contact," the doctor said, confused as to why she seemed as if she didn't know. Olivia was utterly shocked. She looked over at Fin incredulously and saw him as awed as she was. 'Why would I still be his emergency contact.'

"So how is he? Is he out of surgery yet?" Olivia asked, ignoring the doctor's previous statement for the time being.

"Not yet the doctors remaining are just finishing up, it should be about twenty more minutes. Mr. Stabler has pneumothorax from the gunshot to his upper left chest cavity. Pneumothorax is a condition in a lung collapses which leads to essential air escaping into the chest wall. When this happens air builds up and does not allow the lung to fully expand leading to trouble breathing. We seem to have stabilized this part of his condition by inserting a chest drain and a ventilator. As for the wound to the stomach, there was small perforation to the bowl which the doctors are just finishing administrating broad-spectrum antibiotics," the doctor concluded.

"So he'll be alright," Olivia asked just to be sure.

"Yes, after a couple of days staying overnight for further observation he should recover quickly," the doctor assured.

"Okay, thank you doctor," Olivia said as he began to walk toward the front desk. She began to fill out Elliot's medical form while Fin went outside to call Nick to check on Noah and call Amanda. Olivia filled the entire form out with ease and when she came to his blood type question, she smiled in remembering the conversation eight years ago.

Elliot and Olivia had walked into the elevator in sync despite it being their first case together in several weeks.

"Love's a bitch," Olivia said after the exhausting case.

"Tell me about it," Elliot said in agreement.

"You know we've been partners all these years and I don't even know your blood type."

"A-positive," Elliot had replied.

"How about that? Me, too."

"I'd give you my kidney." Elliot stated firmly.

"Not if I gave you mine first." Olivia had answered back just as firmly.

'Yeah, we'll be okay,' she thought to herself as she wrote down the response, 'We'll find a way just like we always have.'

**A\N- Thank you for reading and please let me know if you have any ideas you would like to see happen in later chapters. I hope you enjoyed it and please review, so I know if you hate it (hopefully not), like it, or love it (hopefully).**


	3. Chapter 3: Elliot's Protector

**Disclaimer: Nope, I still own nothing.**

**A\N- Thank you so much for the support. I am so happy that you guys like it.**

"Liv, Nick says Noah is perfectly fine and Amanda is going to pick him up to come here when Lucy gets there." Fin told Olivia when he had reached her. Before Olivia could answer, the doctors came out of the emergency surgery room wheeling an unconscious Elliot out of the room.

"About how long until he wakes up?" Olivia asked one of the doctors.

"Well, he sedative will probably take hour or so to wear off, and if you follow me you can come to his room," the doctor stated as he began his way, wheeling Elliot in front of him.

"I'll go wait for Nick and Amanda," Fin said, knowing that they would want an explanation and knowing Olivia, she wouldn't want to leave Stabler's side.

"Okay see you later," Olivia said, fully concentrated on catching up to the doctor.

"When he wakes up he might be a little confused and in pain, but I am guessing you know him well enough to help him remain calm," the doctor stated, after seeing that she had followed him.

"Yes," Olivia answered and her reply sounded a lot more confident than she thought possible. 'Thirteen years' supply of partnership will do that to two people,' she thought.

"Mr. Stabler also has multiple superficial cuts on his face, arms, and chest."

"Okay, here we are, this will be his room," the doctor said smiling. The doctor wheeled Elliot into the private room. "Pleasure talking to you Mrs. Stabler," the doctor said as he left the room and the nurse entered to help adjust Elliot's hospital bed.

Olivia didn't know what to think of about the doctor's implication. Elliot's wife? A couple of minutes ago she was sure that title only belonged to Kathy, but now she wasn't even aware if they had spoken to each other in months. Did she act like his wife? Before today, she hadn't seen him in years, but she did still care for him. As a matter of fact she never stopped caring. But Olivia, his wife, she chuckled. Throughout their partnership, she had been called Elliot's work wife a couple of times, but as a joke.

Olivia sat down in the chair beside Elliot's bed and as soon as she saw him all her thoughts turned to worry. Elliot's face was completely pale, and a large dark purple circle around his eye. He looked older but she guessed that was what happened after going through a hard divorce and custody feuds. He looked totally vulnerable, as if he would break altogether from a single tap on the shoulder. When they were partners she had never once seen him like this, so broken.

Scared to cause him anymore pain, Olivia lightly and softly grabbed his hand and interlocked their fingers, offering all her strength to him, and knowing he would need all of the strength he could get. The small gesture assured Olivia of his presence and that he would be okay, assurance that she knew she needed. She was positive that he would need someone to be there for him, but now was different she couldn't just drop everything she was doing because now she had Noah. Of course though she knew that she would never leave Elliot without anyone so she would somehow figure it out.

Olivia began to stroke the back of Elliot's hand as an act of comfort. Throughout their partnership they had rarely shown any intimate actions. Mostly there were just occasional hand on shoulder and nothing more, but the times when it was a little more like a comfort- filled hug neither of them wanted to ever let go.

All of a sudden, Elliot started rotating relentlessly, and mumbling something incoherent. Olivia got up from her chair and sat on the edge of Elliot's bed and wanting to soothe his pain in any way possible.

"No!" Elliot cried, his voice filled with terror as he shot up straight in the bed despite the pain shooting through his entire body. Olivia could no longer take it, the look of panic in his crystal clear blue eyes as they filled with a pool of wet tears as he looked at her. Olivia, shattering the boundaries that pushed them apart as partners, gingerly put both of her arms around him and carefully cradled the back of his head with her right hand as her left hand tentatively stroked his back. Elliot noticeably accepted his former partner's open comfort and wrapped his arms around her as far as the wires around him would let him and timidly whimpered.

"Shhh, it's okay El, you're not there anymore you're safe here with me," Olivia said, allowing all the anger she had felt toward him only hours ago to dissolve at least for the time being. Hearing the strong, hot-headed Elliot Stabler cry made her want to just cry herself to sleep, beat the living hell out of the person responsible, and hold him all at the same time. Then she felt his warm tears reach the left shoulder of her shirt as he stifled a breakdown. "Elliot, you have to calm down before the doctors come in and sedate you again since you still have a ventilator on," she told him softly, wanting to just hold him but not wanting Elliot to harm himself. Knowing he was safe with Olivia, he settled down a bit, although fear was still evident in his eyes.

She felt Elliot nod and alert of his chest condition, Olivia cautiously rested him back down out of her loving embrace. Olivia kept her spot at the side of his bed, and took his tough hand into her protective one, smiling down warmly at him, assuring him that he was okay. He had just accepted her shoulder to cry on after nearly three years of not seeing her. Just the fact that he had cried and accepted her hold on him, told her that he must have gone through and just how broken he actually could be, remembering how he hated showing any weakness.

Looking into her openly affectionate brown eyes, Elliot nearly began crying from the guilt he felt for leaving her, his partner of almost fifteen years, his best friend, and the best thing that ever happened to him. He knew that there was no way he deserved her for even after the way he had left her, the way he hadn't even said goodbye, and the way he shut her out of his life entirely after the shooting as if it had been her fault. He never forgave himself for abandoning her and ultimately unintentionally causing her any pain after she had been such a great friend, always having his back, no matter how much of a bastard he'd been to her. And yet here she was, beside his hospital bed, once again protecting him.

"We'll talk about that later, El, but for now let's focus on making sure you get better, okay," Olivia said as if reading his mind, and seeing the sorrow in his eyes. "I called Kathleen and told her you were here so her and Maureen should be getting here in a couple of hours," Olivia explained and again as if reading his mind she added nodding," She told about Kathy and Florida." Both of them were surprised that even after all the time they had spent apart, their chemistry was still present enough for them to read each other's emotions like a book.

Elliot blinked and appeared to have trouble staying awake, so Olivia scooted a little closer to him and with her free hand caressed his cheek. "It's okay, Elliot, go back to sleep, I promise you that I'll stay here," she assured him as she saw him begin to lean his head further into her hand and his pillow. Trusting her, slowly his eyes started to close upon hearing her assurance, until he was fast asleep once again.

Olivia as careful as possible not to wake him, slipped her fingers away from his face and her hand out from his. Before staying any longer she needed to make a call to Lucy and check up on her foster son. She sat in the chair beside Elliot's bed and pulled out her phone dialing Lucy's number.

"Hello Lucy thanks for coming earlier again," Olivia greeted.

"Hi, Liv, it's no problem really, Noah's still sound asleep. So, you caught an important new case?" Lucy asked, still a bit concerned as to why Olivia's co- workers were watching Noah when she arrived.

"Actually, no, I called to check up on Noah and say that I will most likely not be coming home tonight so if you want I could send either Nick or Amanda to watch Noah for a while," Olivia said not sure if Lucy was willing to spend another night watching Noah.

"No, I'll be fine spending another night watching him, Liv. What happened though?" Lucy asked truly concerned.

"Well, there was a shooting in front of the apartment earlier today, and it ended up being my old partner. He's still pretty shaken up so I'm going to stay here with him for tonight," Olivia explained to Lucy.

"Oh, sure, yeah, take all the time you need, I understand. I'm sorry, Liv, I have to go Noah just woke up," Lucy said sympathetically.

"Okay, bye, I'll call again later," Olivia concluded and hung up her phone. Elliot had stirred and was once again wake when she glanced at him. Once again getting up, she sat on the side of the bed and held his hand realizing that between her nightmare and Elliot getting shot she had not gotten any sleep herself. Elliot looked into her eyes with a pleading look as if he might cry. Olivia had remembered seeing that look when he was blinded only it was Kathy who had comforted him and now the look on his face was even more severe and it broke her heart to bits to see him like that. She placed herself laying down right next to him, took his hand in hers, and rested their connected hands on his waist. When he turned slightly to look at her he looked to be grateful and touched by the gesture.

"It's okay El, try to get some sleep," she whispered to him and when he gave her a look that asked her why she would do this for him she simply answered," Because we're partners for better or worse remember?" Olivia then saw a tear escape his eye that was bruised and so she resumed caressing his forehead and holding his hand, until she too fell asleep still protecting her best friend from the vices of the world.

**A\N-Thank you for reading and please write a review to make a little girl happy. By the way, I'm so happy that you liked the kidney part in the last chapter. I thought that it was completely adorable because they were basically saying they love each other.**


	4. Chapter 4: Visitors and Unspoken Words

**Disclaimer: Although it is my life-long, I do not own them.**

**A\N- Hello all, I am so very pleased that you all are enjoying to read my first story and reviewing. I had to give you one last chapter before vacation ends, since tomorrow I will probably only be studying :( for upcoming tests.**

It had been only an hour since both Elliot and Olivia had fallen asleep. Neither one of them had moved in the slightest, completely comfortable with their positions next to each other, making direct contact. It had been only an hour yet it was the most the pair had slept in quite a while and definitely the most peaceful sleep they had slept in a while. Elliot, and Olivia's connected fingers remained on his waist, still entirely looped together, untouched. Every detail in their unified hands, same, without any variation whatsoever, except its strength, for as they slept side by side, once in a while, they would squeeze the other's hand in order to be assured of their presence beside each other.

Another minute passed, and Olivia opened her eyes. She quietly detangled her fingers from Elliot's grasp and sat up stretching, thankful for the hour of sleep added to her day. She checked her watch and finding that it was a quarter to eight in the morning. She knew that Fin would be bringing Nick and Amanda up to see her, so Olivia got up from her spot on Elliot's bed and sat back down on the chair beside the bed. As soon as she sat back down, she once again slipped her hand into his and gently squeezed. What had so greatly terrified him she still had no clue, but she was determined to find out as soon as Elliot was released from the hospital.

Interrupting Olivia from her thoughts, Nick, entered the room followed by Amanda and Fin. Standing up and letting go of Elliot's hand, she stood up and Amanda handed her the coffee that she had bought for her. "So this is that old partner of yours that you always used to talk about," Amanda asked quietly, remembering all the times she had brought up the 'old partner' term.

"Yea, so as Fin probably explained I heard shots fired and found, my old partner, Elliot Stabler, bleeding out on the curb," Olivia said just loud enough to be heard by them.

"So this is the precinct famous Elliot Stabler who was your partner for twelve years before he left you without even saying a word," Nick stated almost in almost a rancorous tone of voice. He had heard how hard Olivia took his sudden departure. He couldn't understand how someone could do that to someone so close. Nick's statement left them in silence as everyone just looked at him. Fin decided to break the uneasy silence.

"So how is he?" Fin asked wanting to change the subject. Seeing that Elliot had moved slightly from even the quiet conversation and understanding that Elliot needed to rest, Olivia motioned for them to follow her out in the hallway.

"Not good, he woke up still shaken up which is why I asked Lucy to stay with Noah another night. I know that I.A.B. is going to want to know why there was a shooting involving a former detective, so if Sergeant Tucker calls I want you to fight for the case. Argue that he was part of our unit or that he might have a vendetta against the remaining Special Victim Unit detectives which we have reason to believe is true since the shooting occurred in front of my apartment," Olivia said.

"Got it, Serge," Amanda replied, still a little confused, but complying the order that she knew probably wasn't up for debate. She had heard back in Atlanta when she had studied their nearly country famous closed cases that the reason they had been so successful was because they had off the chart chemistry that not even experts in psychology. Nick's phone rang and interrupted everyone from their contemplations.

Answering the phone, Nick excused himself. "So where do you want us to start?" asked Fin, wanting to help in any way he could. Remembering how close Elliot and Olivia had been and also accepting that no matter how bad he had hurt her, Olivia wouldn't abandon him because unlike his thoughts on Elliot, he knew Olivia was a good person.

"Get any video footage you can get, and start with that. Find any clues that link back to one of our old cases," Olivia said.

"We have a rape victim in the emergency room, who was found bleeding out from stab wounds all over her entire body. The perp also tried to permanently disfigure by burning her face with boiling water," Nick said after hanging up.

They all looked around at each other, thinking about what they should do. "Okay, then, Amanda go with Nick and wait at the emergency room and Fin call Carisi in and wait for Tucker's call to begin the investigation for who shot Elliot," Olivia spoke up. They all nodded and just as they were about to leave Olivia heard it. A faint whimper coming from the room. Olivia, leaving her friends sprinted into Elliot's room, thinking that maybe someone had somehow managed to have gotten in.

Seeing that Elliot was the only room's occupant she was both relieved and worried, realizing that the quiet sob had from him, although he was still asleep. She turned around to find that they were all just as relieved to find it wasn't an intruder.

"Okay so Nick and I are gonna go, we don't want to miss the victim," Amanda said, turning to leave with Nick following her.

"I should probably get going too Liv. Something tells me that Tucker's gonna call as soon as he hears about this mess. I'll come by after he calls to let you know how it went and bring you some food, caus knowing you, you won't leave at all," Fin said.

"Okay, but be careful Fin we don't know who this guy's after yet and we don't even know what in hell he did to traumatize Elliot like this," she said, gesturing to Elliot turning, obviously in torture even in his sleep.

"I could tell you the same thing," he said already exiting the room, referring to both the criminal's revenge and Elliot's habit of shutting people out

As soon as he left Olivia took her seat at the chair beside his bed, once again reuniting their hands. As another cry escaped his lips she sighed. What had her former partner been through to get him like this. She moved to sit on a small portion of his hospital bed. She didn't even know how long he had been in the hands of the person responsible. She laid back down next to him, thinking that maybe they would both be able to get some more sleep this way.

They both let a long- awaited sleep overcome them. When Elliot woke up and found Olivia right next to him still asleep, he snuggled closer to her, knowing that she would protect him, and went right back to sleep. His final thought before dosing of was in prayer form, as he thanked God for Olivia and thanked Olivia for staying with him.

They stayed asleep longer this time and instead of sleeping only one hour they slept for three. During the third hour Olivia was again awaken by Elliot's cries. "Elliot, wake up it's just a dream," she whispered to him. Suddenly, Elliot's entire body shook, and Olivia got worried, thinking that maybe something was really wrong with him. "El, are you okay? El?" Olivia asked him, starting to panic. Turning him around carefully, Olivia found that he was now awake and silent tears streamed down his face as if he was to ashamed to cry in front of her.

"Elliot, look at me," she stated firmly. His blue eyes continued to look elsewhere as tear slid down his cheeks until she brought her fingers up to his cheek and turned him completely, making his whole body turn toward her," Elliot, it's me, Liv, don't shut me out like you did after Jenna's shooting, I couldn't lose you again," Olivia pleaded with him as her own brown eyes filled with tears and that was it. Neither of them could ever lose each other again. Elliot wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped her arms around him, each not wanting to let go again. "I missed you so much, El, I really did," Olivia whispered her voice, shaking with every word, as tears spilled down both of their faces, as they remembered missing the other so deeply. He held her tighter with every word she said and with every memory of the past flooding back to him all at once.

"Liv," he managed to somehow hoarsely whisper, barely audible, but Olivia heard it. She released him just enough to look into his eyes. At this point both of their faces were covered in tears. She was so cheerful to hear him speak, she had missed his voice so much over these past years. For the next five minutes, they just laid down, holding each other, both too scared to let go, fearful that the other would disappear. The tears had stopped entirely by now and so after placing Elliot back down comfortably, Olivia stood up. Before leaving his room, she saw the alarm in his eyes and knew that he thought she would be leaving him.

"I'm only going to get the doctor, then I'll be right back," she guaranteed him. She then left the room and only two minutes later she returned, followed by a doctor.

"Well it does appear that he is breathing on his own now and his condition seems to have dramatically improved so I think it is safe to take him off the ventilator," the doctor proposed. This news delighted the two remaining occupants in the room. The doctor then easily removed the tube. "A nurse will be coming in about another hour to give him another round of his medication, but if he starts to have trouble breathing again, you should alert me immediately. He should be fine, however, so just make sure he drinks some water to keep hydrated," the doctor said and when both nodded, he left the room.

Before sitting back down again, Olivia grabbed a plastic cup, filled it with water from the sink, and gave it to Elliot. Taking two sips of the water, Elliot put the cup down while Olivia sat at her chair beside his bed, slightly turning to face him. "Hi," he said, testing his voice.

Olivia smiled brightly, finding him amusing, "Morning, Sunshine," Olivia joked, earning in return a smile from Elliot. She really missed seeing him smile like that. "You know, if you don't want to, you don't have to talk about what happened yet, considering your daughters will be here soon and knowing you, you probably don't want to do that in front of them. So let's start at the beginning," Olivia said. She looked to the hospital clock in the room. Almost twelve hours had passed since she had found him. A day ago she didn't even know whether he was even alive and now she was sitting less than two feet away from him.

Before Elliot said anything, they heard someone running down the hallway. Olivia stood up and prepared herself for whoever it was. Then, standing in the doorway was a blond hair and blue-eyed female about Olivia's height. She had tear stained cheeks and her blond hair ran down to her elbows.

"Kathleen," Elliot greeted his daughter that he hadn't seen in in almost as much time as he had Olivia.

A**N- Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter because the next possible time I will be able to update is Friday ****. Yeah, sadly, but anyways, please leave a review to let me know what you think and to help a twelve year old girl survive a week of exams. And to everyone else who has to go back to school on Monday, I wish you good luck (:**


	5. Chapter 5: Long Awaited Answer

**Disclaimer: There is no way I own them.**

**A\N: I am so sorry that I am really late in updating, it's just school, so until summer it will most likely take me a while to get new chapters up.**

**Ages of Elliot's children:**

**Maureen- 24**

**Kathleen- 19**

**Elizabeth and Richard- 13**

**Ellie- 5 **

"Daddy, I missed you so much," Kathleen said as she made her way across the room. She ran to him as more tears slid down her face.

"I missed you too Katie," Elliot said after hugging his daughter. He truly had missed each and every one of his children, but when Kathy filed for custody of them he knew the rare odds of him winning, since almost always the mother won court feuds as such.

"How are you feeling, Dad?" Kathleen asked her father.

"I'm fine," Elliot said as usual in disguise. Olivia rolled her eyes knowing that was the total opposite of the truth. _Once again the silent brooding, too tough to cry Elliot Stabler. At least I know something hasn't changed_, Olivia thought to herself. She was all too familiar with the cover up term 'I'm fine' that they had so completely over used. They had both known each other too well to ever fall for it, and immediately knew if something was actually wrong or if the other was in fact telling the truth.

"How are the others?" Elliot asked. _Leave it to Elliot to be worried about everyone other than himself at the time when __**he **__was the hurt one,_ Olivia thought again using their conversation as time to compare the old Elliot to the new Elliot.

"Well Maureen is parking the car, Lizzie and Dickie are doing pretty well in school, I'm teaching Ellie how to tie his shoes, and well Mom is … well you know how she is," Kathleen answered.

"Hey, Liv," Maureen greeted Olivia as she walked into the room and gave her a hug. She had the same golden hair as her mother and sister and the same blue eyes as her father. Every Stabler seemed to have that special glow in their eyes.

"Hey Maureen," she answered," How's everything?"

"Good," Maureen replied," I'm studying to be in the law field, although I'm not sure specifically what I want to do yet." Maureen then went to her father's side at the bed and joined in their conversation, followed by Olivia who took her seat on the chair beside his bed as the two Stabler girls found their seats on opposite sides of Elliot's bed.

An hour filled with catching up, laughing, and watching TV for all four of them had quickly passed and left all of them asleep. Olivia opened her eyes just as the credits signaled the end of the movie. She looked around the room. It was now nearly five o'clock and Elliot along with his two eldest daughters was sleeping as soundless as could be. Elliot had fallen asleep with one strong arm around Kathleen and the other around Maureen. All three Stablers looked so peaceful and she knew they all needed to rest, but she knew they probably hadn't eaten anything all day and neither had she, so she nudged Kathleen softly until she woke up.

"Hey Katie, I'm going to go see what food I can in here, Do you want anything?" Olivia asked her. Olivia was positive that they would want to spend as much time around their dad as possible since they hadn't seen him in such a long time.

"Sure, anything sounds good, thanks for everything, Liv," Kathleen said sleepily, as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. Knowing that Elliot would be fine with his daughters made her feel okay to leave him… at least long enough to get some food for all four of them. Walking swiftly down the hallway, Olivia decided to buy food that she knew that they would all enjoy, so she chose to get pizza.

When Olivia got to the pizza part of the hospital food court, it was quite crowded, and Olivia wanted to get back as fast as she was able to. Ten minutes later Olivia had four slices of pizza in two take out bags, and was on her way to Elliot's room. Reaching the door to his room Olivia saw that everything was just as it was when she left the room and was immediately relieved at the sight. She put the bags down on the chair and quickly awoke Maureen and Kathleen, while at the same time being careful not to wake Elliot.

"Guys wake up, I got you some pizza," Olivia whispered while consciously moving her hands up and down their arms to try and wake them. They both yawned, stretched, and carefully moving out of their father's embrace sat up. Olivia grabbed the bag andtook a slice of pizzas out and gave one to Kathleen.

"Thanks again, Liv," Kathleen thanked Olivia. Olivia just smiled warmly and said, "You're welcome." She then gave Maureen her slice and when thanked she again did what she had done before.

"So did you guys rent a hotel yet?" Olivia asked them as she took out her own pizza.

"Actually, not yet we got here, rented a car, and came here," Maureen answered. "We'll probably only be here in New York for another couple of days since we have to get back to school." They both got up from Elliot's bed and sat at the two seats near Olivia's chair.

"So what-"

"Liv?" asked a worried and fearful voice from across the room. All heads turned to the source and Olivia hurriedly got up and dashed to his side. "Hey, it's okay, I'm here," she said while grabbing his hand in her own.

Kathleen and Maureen remained in their seats watching and amazed at the sight before them. The way he responded to her was like they had never seen him with anyone. They exchanged glances and observed the pair in awe as she took him into her arms and comforted their father who had gotten divorced because shut everyone out. Even after he had left her the way he did, all her actions were out of genuine care. In a matter of minutes he was back asleep and Olivia laid him back down.

Olivia returned to the seat and let out a gloomy sigh. "You never did stop caring did you?" Maureen asked Olivia. Olivia knew the response to that question like she knew her name. She nodded. No. She never did stop caring for him. Not when she left to Computer Crimes. Not when she left to Oregon. Not when he left her. Never.

"You know he never forgave himself for leaving you," Kathleen began, "He would have never left you to begin with if it weren't for Kathy. For a week he locked himself in his room and didn't come out even for food. He would just wait for someone to come up and leave something for him. He would just stare at the wall and wasn't willing to speak to anyone especially Kathy. By this point Kathy had literally throw away his phone because she was tired of reading your name on the caller ID." Kathleen stopped to roll her eyes and continued, "Anyway, two weeks after the shooting my mom divorced dad and I guess it was too much for him to handle when Kathy took us to Florida so he subsided to alcohol for a while. We found this out when we called him for the first time in Florida."

"Wow, I'm not surprised that he was pushed over the edge that's a lot to go though at once and even worse by himself," Olivia said. _But he could have called me, I would have been there for him. _As if she was reading her mind Maureen spoke.

"He should have, Liv, but he didn't. I don't know why, no one knows why, honestly I don't even think he knows why, but I do know he never wanted to hurt you. After the shooting he was just constantly shutting people out. Liv, I'm so sorry he did that and I bet my life that he's even sorrier," Maureen said intellectually. Olivia just stood there listening.

"I still remember the day you called us when mom and dad were separated and asked us if we could come to the precinct for his birthday," Kathleen said beginning to laugh at the memory," Dad couldn't have been any happier on his birthday, and the next day he told me it was the best one he had ever had." They all shared an amused laugh.

"Back to what I was trying to say, Liv, he needs you, and don't let him fall any further then he did when he left you. As stubborn as he is, don't let him shut you out again because if he shuts you out again he's gone," Maureen said and stood up. "We probably should get going, we need to book into a hotel, rest, and the worst part is mom will probably be calling to see where we are and she doesn't know we're here."

"Bye, Liv," the both said as they hugged her one last time. "Tell him we said bye and we'll be back in the morning."

"Okay. Bye girls," Olivia said.

Olivia went toward Elliot and sat down on his bed and waited. She knew eventually he would wake up and most likely rather soon from either another nightmare or just needing her. Only this time they were finally going to talk. As if knowing she was leaving his side, as she went to get up to sit in the chair, he moved closer to her slightly. Olivia smiled, of course he would even be stubborn in his sleep. She moved even closer to him and massaged his arm with her soft fingers. His eyes twinkled open. "Liv?" he asked.

"Hey, you hungry?" Olivia asked him.

"A little," Elliot answered," Maureen and Katie left?"

"Yea, they went to find a hotel and said they'll be back in the morning." Olivia said. She held up the bag with the last slice of pizza. "Want pizza?" she offered. He nodded and saw him struggle to sit up so she gave him her right hand as she slid her left arm around his shoulder blades and lovingly helped him up. Elliot flashed her a look that said thanks and in return Olivia just smiled, not needing to speak. Grabbing the slice out of the bag, Olivia gave it to him. "Elliot, why didn't you call me?" she asked him just above a whisper, her wandering thoughts overwhelming her and winning her inner battle.

"I'm sorry, Liv. Trust me when I say I never wanted you to be hurt," Elliot began, knowing full well this conversation was coming. "Liv, I just couldn't do anything, I wasn't in control, I needed help, but I didn't want it." Elliot's eyes had already filled with an abundant amount of tears and she could tell he meant every word, but the hurt she had felt for the past four years could not just vanish especially after Lewis.

"What about me, Elliot? I went through hell and back and I really did need you, you were nowhere to be found, no call, no nothing. Elliot, it really burns to think that the one person I couldn't stop thinking about never seeing again and the one person that I couldn't keep my mind off during the time I spent fighting for my life, didn't care about me. All I could worry about was if you were okay, if you forgot about me already. El, the first months after you left I refused to work with anyone else and almost got fired for it." Olivia could not hold back the tears and did not try to because she knew it wouldn't work.

"Liv, I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry," Elliot said and Olivia stood up. "I know you don't want to get hurt again and I know it'll take a long time, but I don't ever wanna lose you again, Liv." Elliot then looked down, miserably, with tears falling from his blue eyes.

Olivia, not wanting to cry anymore, both because she was mentally exhausted, and because she was sure this would take a toll on his health if it continued she grabbed a tissue from across the room and sat down on his bed. "El, don't worry, even though I'm mad I'm not going to leave you, okay? I promise you that I will never leave you like that, El," Olivia told him as she sighed. Olivia threw out the rest of the pizza. She then took the tissue and leading it with her thumb, she traced under his eyes, absorbing all the self-frustrated tears. Before she understood what was happening, Elliot threw his arms around her and she put her arms around him pulling each other into a close hold embrace.

"I'm really glad you're back," Olivia said repeating the exact words she had said to him four years ago.

"I should've come back sooner," Elliot said, also remembering the same conversation as if it were yesterday. They each squeezed the other tighter, as they smiled sadly with unshed tears in their eyes.

**A\N- I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading and please continue to review, follow, and favorite. Also, if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Until next time, bye (:**


	6. Chapter 6: The Bold Move

**Disclaimer: I do not own the best detectives ever.**

**A\N- Once again thank you for all the support from the reviews to the follows to the favorites, I really appreciate it. I am so thankful to have all of you. This week will be less hectic with tests so I should be able to get another chapter up soon. I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Thank you Bensler27 for the suggestion and it was originally written into the previous chapter but I rewrote it because I thought it would kind of be awkward with Lucy and all but I will try to write that in :)**

"Hey, El, are you okay?" Olivia asked when he tightened his grip on her after nearly five minutes of them clinging to each other in silence.

"I'm so sorry, Liv, I'm so sorry," Elliot repeated. _It's okay, _she wanted to say but she knew it wasn't, he had left her. "I just, after Jenna, I couldn't do it anymore, I just couldn't." He said as he shook with every word and she held him tighter. "I ran out of that precinct and ran out of your life all at the same time. I had killed Jenna, and as she died in my arms all I could see was my own daughter in her place. She was too young, Liv. Every drink I had after that I thought of you, of how I had left you, and so I had another and another, until the pack was empty." She could hear the pure emotion in his voice.

"Elliot, I understand, but you could have called me, but instead this is the first I've heard from you since the shooting." Olivia went on, but kept her voice soft, for the sake of Elliot's health and her voice. "I saved your life, your marriage, your family more times than either of us can count and you just left me. The first person that I ever believed cared about me left me and as much as I'd hate to admit it without you I was completely lost. I fought for you at IAB, but when Don told me that you put your papers in I gave up. After you gave up on us, I figured we never were worth fighting for."

Olivia paused as she too shook in tears just as Elliot. She had waited for this moment of answers for four years and now tears freely fell from both their faces. "I completely despised everyone in my life for not being you for the first year until I realized you weren't coming back. It took a couple of months of denying what Don told saying things like 'He's not coming back' and 'If you want to stay in this unit you're gonna have to start working with different people' but it finally got through to me. Even though I didn't want to I worked with new people and believe it or not I was getting comfortable with them until I reminded myself. Reminded myself not to let them in as far in as I had let you." She paused once again and released him from her hold so he could look into her eyes. His eyes were so unfamiliarly red that she almost did not recognize him, but now that she had started she wouldn't stop.

"How could you do that to me? And then I get than damn letter. That damn three word letter. I nearly broke down in front of the squad over the simple fact that you had somehow responded to all my calls of pleading for you to talk to me. 'Semper fi –El' really what the hell was that even supposed to mean to me. I mean really 'always faithful', I was 'always faithful' to you. You know what's really funny though, I actually kept your badge clipped on my gun ever since. What really pissed me off the most though was the detail that while William Lewis tortured me all I could think about was you, and the only other person that knows that is him and he's dead now. I was stupid to think that I could ever be cared for, none the less loved." Olivia was then finished and took one last sad peek at Elliot's eyes before settling her gaze back to the floor.

He took her chin in his hand and softly explained what she had so wrongly said. "But, Liv," he said, his eyes and voice tearful and pleading for her to listen, "I care about you more than both you and I ever guessed."

"No, Elliot, don't give me that, because then where were you the past four years, huh?" she asked him.

"You're right, Liv, I did fail you," he said defeated and although Olivia saw the regret in his eyes, she knew that she needed to stand firm. "But I do care, I nearly committed myself to the psych ward because I thought I was going crazy when I heard about Lewis. I ended up losing whatever sobriety I had left and every night I dreamt of what could have happened to you. Then four months ago I couldn't take all the 'what ifs' so I decided I would finally get over myself to see you." He said as he winced in pain from shaking which Olivia did not miss since they were still only a foot away from each other. She sighed.

"Look you've obviously had a long day, why don't you get some get some rest," Olivia suggested. After helping him lie back down, she took her seat in the chair once again.

"Mr. Stabler," a nurse from the door began, "I'm here to give you your last medication dose for the night, which should let you sleep easier." They had both stopped crying by now and Elliot nodded and after the nurse had given him the pain meds, she left.

Olivia could see not two minutes later that Elliot was fighting sleep. "El, don't fight it I'll be here if you need me when you wake up," she said as she grabbed his hand and softly messaged it with her fingertips. It wasn't long before his swollen and red teary eyes had closed shut.

Five minutes later, Olivia's phone startled her from her thoughts and she jumped out of her seat and glancing at Elliot to make sure he had not been waken she left the room. "Benson," she answered when she got outside the room.

"Liv, its Fin, all we could get off of the security tape was that a black van threw Elliot onto the street and. Carisi and I will continue investigating, but you're going to have to get his statement soon. Liv, if you want I could tell Nick and Amanda to get his statement."

"Thanks, Fin, but I can handle it," Olivia said wanting to know what Elliot had gone through.

"Okay but, are you okay?" Fin asked knowing Elliot had broken her heart once before. "Did he say anything stupid to you?"

"Actually there were more tears than anything and I didn't expect a good answer as to why he left the way he did. He just fell asleep so I'll get his statement when he wakes up." Olivia responded.

"Okay bye baby girl, just be careful," Fin said.

"Okay, bye Fin," Olivia said as she hung up. Not knowing what she was supposed to do now, Olivia walked back into the room. Sitting back in her seat she assumed Elliot would be out for the night so the statement would have to wait until morning. Something gave her the feeling that whoever had done this to him was not done yet, considering the location he was found at. Realizing that she should use this time to her advantage, she got herself comfortable in the chair, and closed her eyes. It was two minutes later when they were both completely fast asleep, proving how emotionally tired they both were.

_"What's that look for? You feeling sad? Thinking about someone you're never gonna see again?" Lewis asked. Olivia was on the bed as Lewis cut the tape off her ankles. As terrified as she actually was on the inside, on the outside she did not let it show at all, as only a look of defiance remained. 'He's right,' she thought because even though she wasn't about to let him know, she was thinking of a certain someone.__** Him.**_

___The same him that had left her after nearly being partners with her for thirteen years. Elliot Stabler. Or as she so often introduced him to suspects and victims, Detective Elliot Stabler. The he that she had especially called El after knowing him for a while. She had to admit, she did miss __**him. **__The he who was a Detective, a Father, a Husband, a partner… her best friend.____So many different names, but to her he was all the same. _

_ "Mom?" Nope, not even close._

_ "Dad?" Way off._

_ "Boyfriend?" Oh, yea, I almost forgot about him._

_ "No, huh?" Here it comes._

_ "Someone else … someone who you would give anything to see just one more time." Ding, ding, that's him._

_ "You're gonna cry out his name… at some point." Hopefully not, aloud, but of course I will be on the inside. "They always do."_

_ "Well, just try and put him out of your mind, okay?" Impossible. "Cause you don't make it out of here alive." Unfortunately possible. _

_ "Now you say…"Lewis said as he roughly placed his gun into her mouth and positioned himself on top of her to keep her from squirming around._

_ "…I wanna live… I'll do anything… I'll do anything… anything. I'll do anything." Olivia whimpered out in fear and complied with his firm demand._

_ "Yeah," Lewis said while he nodded his head sadistically. "Yes, you will," he said, "Liv, look at me, Liv." How did he know her nickname? Lewis then proceeded to unbuckle her belt to her pants and…_

"Liv, wake up!" Elliot said softly, but loud enough to wake her. She sat up straight from her chair and shook as she held in her tears. Elliot had somehow managed to get into a sitting position on his hospital bed and held her arm in one hand as he reached out for her. She was completely paralyzed with fear and by the look in his eyes he knew this. He outstretched his arms toward her and said," Liv, please, come here," Elliot pleaded, knowing it was what she needed, and if he knew her at all, he knew that she would never ask for comfort.

Olivia didn't know what to do. She had not fully forgiven him, that was a long way ahead, but did she trust him enough now to let him hold her as she cried. It had only happened once or twice before, but that was before Lewis. She shook her head no. She was not ready for this. "Liv don't make me get up because you know I will. Look, you're scared right now and I get that," he said empathetically, "So just come. You're not alone anymore Liv, let me help you now even though I wasn't there to help you before."

When Elliot began to move to put his feet on the floor Olivia shook once again and uncertainly and timidly got up, silently accepting his invitation for comfort. Once she got up, Elliot bound his arms around her and led her to sit down next to him on the bed. She sat down next to him and when he continued to envelope her in his arms, she was stiff in his hold. "I'm sorry, Liv, that I wasn't there to help you then, but trust me, I will never let anything like that happen to you again, okay? I promise," Elliot told her gently, and as soon as she heard him say this she melted completely into their hug and shuddered as she cried in the wake of her nightmare. "Shh, Liv, you're okay. Whatever happened is over, he will never hurt you again. I will never let it happen." He hushed her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry anything ever happened, especially to you Liv, I should have been there to protect you, and I'm so sorry Olivia." He now began to rub her back in small circles and gingerly caressed her hair in his fingers trying to calm her down back to sleep. "But you weren't there," Olivia whimpered out with followed by more soft sobs. That was when he realized just how hurt and affected she really was. Just how he missed her smell, her hair, and even something as simple as her breathing. He remembered the last time he held her like this after Sonya Paxton's death, he had been so concerned even as she walked away in the opposite direction.

"You're right, Liv," he said quietly, now rocking her and accepting the irrefutable fact that it would take quite a long time to repair their now inferior friendship. She had let him hold her, and that was all he could ask for right now. She was still uneasy and disturbed so he continued to affectionately stoke her back and wonder what Lewis had exactly done to her for Liv to still be affected months after.

"Olivia, what were you dreaming about?" Elliot asked her, at this point wanting to try anything to calm her down and released her just enough to look at her. She slowly pulled her head back and looked at him in his eyes. Concern, empathy, and care. That's what she saw in the beautiful blue eyes of her partner… ex- partner. She hid out of a response and looked away.

"Liv." He said and by now the tears had slowed.

"Lewis," she shyly got out. He had assumed that it was about him.

"What about him?" he asked softly.

"He was cutting the tape off of my ankles, and all I could think about was…" She stopped not wanting to continue or admit it was he she was thinking about.

"What, Liv, what were you thinking about?" he pressed gently on the subject. She had talked to only her therapist and even then she had not mentioned him. Nothing. She didn't answer. "Livvie, what's wrong, talk to me, what were you thinking about?" he repeated.

"You," she simply and softly admitted as another tear slipped out and she ducked her head down. He hugged her even tighter now and lied down.

"Oh, Liv." He said as he contemplated making a bold move. As she shook again and began to cry, he made his decision. Collecting her hand in his, he leaned closer into the hug and planted a small kiss on her forehead. Surprised by the gesture as well, Olivia began to calm even though her mind began to race. It was the farthest either one of them had ever come close to. Both of them too lost in their thoughts, had not noticed the eyes that were fastidiously watching them.

**A\N- Thank you again for reading and please review. The next chapter will deal with how Elliot ended up in the hospital.**


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